The following is a monologue I wrote and recited for the 2009 Spirit In the House Film and Theatre Festival, Lake Harriet Spiritual Community's own production of "Got Peace?" That production and these words changed me forever. It was during this time at some point I had finally stopped "talking" and started living the talk. The peace that I and everyone else had talked about had crept up on me and before I knew it I was engulfed in it. Shortly after the final performance in June this happiness and peace helped catapult me into my next and most fulfilling role of becoming a mother. After reciting the following words night after night their essence sank into me helping me to honor my intuition and joy and making the promotion of peace on earth my highest mission. Its changed how I interact with others and myself. It's also had a huge impact on how I brought my son into the world and how I continue to parent him. The world needs to change. And it starts with us, loving, loving, honoring and forgiving ourselves. We then pass that on to others, our family, friends, community and then on to the next generation.
I think finding peace is about going deep within myself. Getting in touch with and listening to that soft subtle vibration that permeates every cell of my being. You know that steady, constant, stillness that washes the stress of the day away and reminds us that we're all connected. My soul.
Sometimes my soul lets me be to enjoy just being, and other times it gives me intuitions or guidance. Sometimes the guidance can seem a little scary, or crazy, and not very practical so I'll chalking it up to big dreams or fanciful ideas...I'll ignore it, and go back to my daily routine. And everything seems to be fine...Until these intuitions start sneaking into my dreams, and waking me up in the middle of the night....They'll creep into my mind while listening to a conversation or listening to a song on the radio. And you know, I've come to learn that if I don't listen, life has a way of sneaking up on me, and can go peacefully with me in the drivers seat or I can go kicking and screaming and I've found that life is much more peaceful if I surrender.
Several months ago in the middle of this recession left my stable, yet emotionally draining, and non supportive Human Service job of more than two years. And even though it may not have been the most financially lucrative move. Spiritually its been invaluable. I've had the opportunity to get back in touch with some of my own passions that I seemed to have forgotten, and its been such a healing experience for me. Its remembering like myself all over again.
I sometimes wonder would happen if we created the opportunity for everyone to follow their own individual passions within our society. Where people didn't have to worry about making a living, What if all that was taken care of? Would people do what they loved? Would people follow their passions no matter how crazy or childish they seemed? How much farther advanced we’d be morally, technologically, spiritually, and musically if people didn’t have to worry about risking their livelihood to follow their passions.
One of my passions that I rediscovered was singing. Growing up I thought that in order to be a rock star, you had look a certain way and be a certain way. I always thought I didn't fit whatever that way was. I was too short, too round, too Asian, and not musically inclined enough to be successful. Then of course comes along William Hung on American idol!.…He became a sensation over night by covering Ricki Martin's "She Bangs, She Bangs"
So maybe its not about being the best or fitting the mold….But about expressing yourself in the way your soul wants you to. Feeling and acting on that impulse…listening to the inner voice within, and I don’t mean the one that tells you to not eat after 10PM. Its listening to your soul, your spirit, and finding joy in whatever you love doing…whether its hiking up a mountain, writing a song, or expressing your hopes for a new society in a monologue about peace
Since first doing this show about two months ago, I've joined Calliope Women's Chorus, and now I have the opportunity to sing with other women who are as passionate about singing as I am. I've been working as a preschool teacher. I love my job, I'm refreshed, energized... And at this point in my life I feel so happy and peaceful, sometimes I say to myself "AHA! This is it, I'm meant to be here! My soul was meant to do this!"
So I encourage you to go out a find your AHA moment. You may not understand why you have certain ideas or inspirations, but I've heard that following guidance is like opening a package, you start with the the tip of the bow, which is the beginning of your journey, and as you progress or untie it and get the wrapping off you find that gift on the inside may not be what you expected. It turned out to be much better, and its exactly what you and everyone around you needed.